She could not see any relief from this anxiety except repayment, and repayment seemed impossible. There were moments when she doubted whether the whole mass of movements and societies and gatherings and talks was not simply one coherent spectacle of failure protecting itself from abjection by the glamour of its own assertions. “Dear old Daddy,” she said, “he’ll make a fearful fuss. Rotten, and covered with a thick coat of dirt, the boards of the floor presented a very insecure footing; the bare walls were scored all over with grotesque designs, the chief of which represented the punishment of Nebuchadnezzar. A crumpled-up newspaper thrown from the gallery hit her upon the cheek. One can learn and understand only by personal experience, by actual contact with the realities of life. But the possible attitude of her father she had still to face. Even though I am going to sing at the ‘Unusual’ you may find that the ‘Alcide,’ whom you knew in Paris does not exist any more. Until now none of her prayers had ever been answered. He fell back upon the pillows with a little moan, clutching the slim white fingers fiercely.
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