“If I thought for a moment that there was any chance of a relapse, I should stop here and tell him the truth even now. “You remind me of a little blue stone I had once. Ann Veronica had had some training at the Tredgold College in disentangling threads from confused statements, and she had a curious persuasion that in all this fluent muddle there was something—something real, something that signified. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. . ’ Lucilla sat up. She loved Florence, wandering the huge markets which bustled day and night. It's a bad omen to be thrown near that door. Whether it was the nun’s habit or the harlot’s clothing that distressed her more, he could not begin to guess.
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